Life is perfect for one whole second.
Then comes that time of tears,pain,frustration,fear and misery that you are all too familiar with.
Your mind overflows with 'what if's and 'if only's that could have let that one second,last one more second longer.
Already,it's like your whole life is ripped up and crumpled into a dustbin.
You don't know where to start cleaning it up.

You go over the moment millions of times in your mind until you've got everything,down to every last detail,memorised.
Your heart feels as if it's breaking into pieces.
You just want to lie down,curl up,and just cry forever.
You wish you could give up.

Life is about taking chances.
Sometimes,you get what you want.
Mostly you don't.

Sometimes,you feel really down.
Your self esteem wounded,from the battle that is life.
You feel as though no one understands you.
As though no one cares about you.
Sometimes you wonder whether you are really there.

You wish you had someone.
Someone you  trust.
Someone you could depend on to help you through everything.
Someone to love you.

But it's hard for you to trust anyone.
It's like everyone is against you.
Eagerly waiting to see you slip and fall.
Always two-faced backstabbers,knifes held at the ready.
You want to forget them.
However,you know all too well that it's hard to escape reality.
Nothing ever goes right for you.

You get frustrated.
The walls of comfort you built around yourself became suffocating.
You look for a way out.
An exit to safety.
But you find none.

You cry for help.
But no one is listening.
No one is ever listening.
They never hear you.

The mask of stone you wear betrays nothing about your inner pain.
You will not give them the satisfaction of seeing your wounds.
Not anymore.

For you stand alone.
You fall alone.
You lick your wounds in the dark,alone.
Always alone.

Love always passes you on it's way.
It gives you a tiny whiff of it's beauty.
But mostly you get the thorns.
You scream in pain as they pierce through your heart.

Happiness is a foreign feeling for you.
You stand detached.
Looking in from the outside.
Wondering what it would be like to be happy.
You try to imagine it.

You are scared of gettin hurt.
So you stop reaching for the light.
You have tripped and fallen down the ladder there much too often.
And it hurts like hell.

You know that time heals all wounds,eventually.
But it feels like forever for you.
You try to numb yourself.
Nothing can dull the pain.

You dream of smiling a real smile for once.
You dream of laughing under the bright sun.
You want to feel proud to be alive.
You want to live your life.

You want to live.